So, we’re in year 2 of the Covid-19 apocalypse, I mean pandemic. Everyone’s working from home, starting businesses, YouTube channels, and blogs and shit. Me too, obviously, but’s not because of all of this that I am starting now, it just happened to work out that way. I can’t promise that this blog will be helpful to anyone other than myself, but I really hope it is. I’ve struggled for a long time trying to find a way to express myself and share things that I find with others, and it’s possible that blurting out everything I need to online may be my only option. The schedule will hopefully be at least one post per week. Not sure what else to say other than, “Hope someone out there finds this helpful.”
I hope to share everything I know, and find out about in the future, about successfully managing mental health struggles, healing from trauma, rebuilding boundaries and self-esteem, and figuring out who you are. I also hope to share lots of resources for other general being alive-ness like having pets, working on relationships, finding community resources, running a household, and anything else that I feel like probably.
Just to clarify here, I am not an expert in any of these topics, or anything really. I am learning about all of these things myself, and only hope to share what I learn for others to find as well. It has been hard for me to realize that there are a lot of things that I know or have learned that others have not had the opportunity to. I spent a lot of time reading as a kid and started to think that most things were common knowledge that actually weren’t. With an open mind to learn, I started to read and research and learn anything I could for any situation that I was in. It helped me get through a lot.
I also loved sharing what I knew with others, which wasn’t always well-received. People can be cruel. For example, some have called me a know-it-all, said that I talked too much, or even that it didn’t matter what I learned, I couldn’t change how things were. I realized there are a lot of close-minded people in the world. As a teenager, I turned to writing, only for myself obviously and teachers. It never grew to anything more than boxes of old papers and notebooks I have lugged around for years, and a billion saved files on old computers that have since stopped working with no way to retrieve anything from them. What a shame. It’s not that I had any brilliant ideas for novels or even theories on the creation of the universe. Of course, I didn’t have much to say that was relevant to anyone other than myself, but it gave me an outlet. A place to write and express myself so I didn’t keep everything bottled up inside.
You see, whenever I wanted to talk to the people I love and care about most, no one seemed to have time. I was the last of a lot of kids and our childhood was pretty stressful. Even now, my favorite people in the world seem to always be too busy for me or even uninterested in what I might have to say. That can be hard. Last year I started counseling and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) which has given me a safe outlet again, and a way to rebuild my self-confidence and boundaries. I have been able to work through so much in the past year that I am ready to start writing here publicly to share anything I can. This is exciting, but also terrifying. I mean, it’s the fucking internet.
Writing for me also gives me a way to know myself more. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, or what some might prefer to call Emotional Regulation Disorder. Because of that I struggle a lot with a sense of self, a sense of my own identity. (In fact I struggle with most shit all of the time because of that, but I digress…) Writing is a great way to reflect and learn about yourself. Hopefully, writing here and sharing my journey through all this will help me to grow as a person and be more confident in myself. Who knows? Maybe it could help you too.
With much love,
me, Katie Lee
P.S. Here’s some links and shit to check out more about DBT, BPD, and KLH (That last one is just my initials lol)
DBT- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402
BPD- Borderline Personality Disorder
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder
KLH- Me, Katie Lee
https://mekatielee.com/about-page/